Hebrews 5:12-14 (KJV) "For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat. For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil."
Proverbs 27:17 (KJV) "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend."
Every testimony of Jesus Christ working in someone's life is a life changing event that is supernaturally charged to change a person from A to Z & all for Christ's glory & honor to be showcased. It is a privelege to share a fantastic lifechanging testimony from Janet McGoldrick, here with you today.
In the eyes of the world I had a privileged upbringing, my father was a diplomat and we had money, status and power. We lived all over the world, I had the best education money could buy, I didn't understand the value of money as I had everything I wanted, I was a very spoiled child indeed. At the age of nine, I was sent to a private ladies boarding school, one of the best in the UK, I would fly home for all the holidays even the shorer half-term holidays as money was no object. I loved the fact that we had a little chapel and we learnt about Jesus. At sixteen I left and went to a famous ex patriot college in Madrid, Spain, after that I finished my education in Paris at a finishing school studying French language and culture, this is the education my parents chose for me. My aim in life, according to them was to have a good marriage and live the lifestyle to which I was accustomed.
I met an American diplomat and my life was mapped out for me. I would become the wife of a first secretary who was on his way to becoming an ambassador just like his father and grandfather before him, the endless years of entertaining in diplomatic circles loomed out before me, babies and the next generation of children becoming diplomats! I needed time and some space of my own to see if this was really going to be my future, it appeared ever so boring. I've so often looked back and thought why didn't I just carry on and do what was expected of me!
I did some modeling and then got a job as an flight attendant based in Bahrain, flying all over the world. I noticed I was very different to my fellow workers, I didn't drink, party or mix with others, I was very much a quiet and reserved woman, my posh accent got me the reputation for being aloof and proud.
I was deemed anti-social and people kept away from me. I on the other hand I enjoyed riding my beautiful horse and driving my 911 Porshe whilst I was in Bahrain. I met a local man and fell in love for the first time in my life. I even bought a wedding dress but my Arab boyfriend had no intentions of marrying me, he saw me as a meal ticket out of Bahrain, he left to the States. I visited him briefly but it all fell apart and I was heart broken.
I left Bahrain and returned to my parents in Germany, disillusioned with my life, it started to spiral out of control. During my childhood, I had experienced mental health problems, my parents had swept them under the carpet not wanting to bring any sort of scandal upon the family and the embassy. But in hindsight I had an illness similar to bi-polar, with extreme highs and lows, intense fear of being alone, extreme loneliness and emotional pain. I had started to cut myself, but no one in my family wanted to notice my cry for help, although the symptoms were so obvious. I met a man in the club scene who seemed to give me the excitement I so often sought whilst I was low. Little did I know that he would groom me and I ended up sleeping with men for him for money. I soon became hooked on cocaine and alcohol, it seemed to mask the dreadful pain I was in.
My pimp and I went to live in London, I worked for escort agencies and madams, earning a huge amount of money for him. I wasn't interested in the money, my soul was deteriorating fast, I became addicted to ‘Ecstasy Tablets’, anything to take me away from the life I was leading. I was a walking time bomb, my pimp left in disgust, I was no longer any use to him in my state. I ended up in hospital after attempting to kill myself and on another occasion after a birthday celebration that continued for three days, I slipped into my second coma, I woke up a week later bottles of vodka and empty sleeping tablets surrounding me.
I still had some fight in me and I checked into a rehabilitation centre where Eric Clapton had gone. I thought after six weeks I would never drink again and I would be healed. I was on a natural high, life was good. After I got out I decided to do a degree and did a BSc (Bachelor of Science) with honors in Psychology. Surely my life was about to change!
I rented a house and looked for a lodger, without checking him out, once again I had let danger into my life. When I asked him to leave because he was untidy and made a mess, he punched me several times in the face and threw me through a glass window. He was charged with GBH (grievouos bodily harm), but I was left with PTSD. I drifted back to drugs and alcohol to make sense of my life. I hung out with drug dealers and once again my life spiraled out of control. At one point I was put in a safe house by the police who feared for my life after I gave evidence against a drug dealer. I was so lost and I cried out to Jesus on a regular basis.
Wanting desperately to have security in my life, I met and married a man, a drunk and an abuser of women. For two and a half years he beat me up. At first he made me feel so safe, he controlled my every move, I loved the fact that a man wanted me exclusively for himself, if I was even ten minutes late he would accuse me of having an affair.
Every week I had black eyes, he broke my jaw, my ribs, but the names he called me were worse. I had told him the truth about my past, he called me a whore and the truth was I was a dedicated wife, I wouldn't dream of looking at anyone else. He slept with other women and the physically attacks on me got worse, the police told me if I didn't leave I would be dead soon, I had chronic ptsd. One night I was asleep, I woke up with a fist crashing into my face, I screamed out to Jesus to help me, my husband laughed and told me Jesus wasn't interested in me. I knew it was time to leave, I packed a few things into a plastic bag and hid them under a bed, waiting for an opportunity to run away, my husband told me If I left him he would kill me and I knew he would. The day to leave finally arrived, I escaped and never looked back, a new chapter of my lIfe had begun.
I started to rebuild my life, I wanted a relationship with Jesus so bad, I had never stopped talking to him. I found work as a support worker and met a lovely family who became my friends, I bought a dog which I saw as my child. I didn't want another relationship with anyone again and I became a celibate. I was still suffering from bouts of loneliness and depression, but It felt like a new beginning. Although I had friends at church, I always felt isolated by my past, I didn't fit in, it was like I was living on the outside looking into life. I had been baptized and spirit filled. It was just a matter of getting to know my beautiful daddy properly. I must have been terribly naive, the father of the family who were my friends didn't see me as his daughters friend, he lusted after me. The very biggest betrayal of my life was yet to take place.
I left to live on an Island in the south of England, an hour away from my friends. I had a beautiful lIfe with a spirit filled fellowship, I was happy, I felt really close to the Lord. One day there was a knock on the door, two friends who I recognized as friends of the family on the mainland were there. I invited them in and made them a coffee, they slipped a drug called ‘GHB’ into my drink, kidnapped me and took me to the man's house. There a group of them raped me and kept me hostage for three days. The majority of the time I was drugged, but I remember enough, when I finally got back home my mental health had deteriorated so much that I didn't feel safe again for the next five years. I left the Island and drove up to Scotland, my friend who was also a celibate came with me. He loved the Lord and when my pastor told me that we couldn't live under the same roof, we did the right thing and married, we are married celibates serving the Lord.
I've spent the last five years pressing into the Lord and getting healed. A year ago I started on google+. I am a new creation in Christ Jesus, the old is gone, I am a princess, the past is gone, in fact God has renewed my mind totally. I no longer have depression or ptsd, I am blood washed by the Lamb of God, I wear righteous robes of white and I'm filled with the Holy Spirit. I've learned to love people and I've found fellowship with a group of women on google+, we have a prayer group and we are changing lives around us through the strength of the Holy Spirit with us.
I delight greatly in the Lord;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
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